the rising of the sun
by TFislove
Summary: What happens when a odd boy goes to a new school, will he be affected by the mysterious siblings that sit at the back of the hall. What happens when he cant resist knowing, is it going to be his last breath or only the beginning of forever.
1. the cullens

The Cullen's 

There was always one time of the day that I wanted to sleep.

It was from 8:30 am to 3:15 pm. I always felt this way everyday when the sun didn't shine and it wasn't weekends. This was the 25th high school that I had attended in my 110 years of roaming the earth. Here I was again sitting there staring at the ceiling wishing I was anywhere but here. It hadn't changed a bit exactly the same as it was when I came here 60 years ago all that could be different was the new slick of paint and the furniture. The were many reasons why I would so love to be away from forks high school but manly is the fact I could hear every different thing all seven hundred odd students were thinking right now.

I turned to look at my family trying to distract myself again. On my right there was Alice and Jasper gazing in to each others eyes lovingly I wish I was in love the same way they were, but it is not likely my hopes are going to come true. On my other side were Rosalie and Emmett holding hands talking quietly to them selves. Why did I always feel like I was the only person left out, lonely in some ways, whenever I tried to make my feelings heard they would just laugh and ask how I could get lonely with a head full of voices.

Today every one else's thoughts were spread around the new addition to our student body. Every female's thoughts were full of affection and desire to the new male Edward. All the male's thoughts were centred on something completely different Jealousy, wouldn't they like to have every girl chasing after them like that. I had seen the new guys face so many times today in others minds that I already felt like I knew him. Every one always overreacted when there was a new toy to play with; they acted like it was kindergarten all over again. Humans all ways took to much interest over the smallest things.

_So what is everyone thinking about the new guy._ Rosalie asking me silently. I gave Rose a disappointing look, she was so vain or I suppose you could call it pigheadedness, all she wanted to know was whether the new boy was thinking about her. What did it matter it was not like she could ever get close to him, even if she wasn't married to Emmett. I had such a twisted family. On the matter I hadn't even heard a thought from the new boy, perhaps when I heard him talk I would be able to hear him

Emmett was fuming over a wrestling match he had lost with Jasper last night and couldn't wait to get his own back with a surprise attack when he went hunting later. I really should tell Jasper what Emmett has got in for him. That was the thing with Emmett any thing he thought he was bound to say it allowed I suppose that is why I never feel guilty about reading his thoughts.

Jasper was the newest to becoming a vegetarian and he found it very hard, I hated prying into jaspers thought as they were always and were now centred on his next well sort of human victim I know he wouldn't go in for the lunge but it didn't help anyway. Like currently he was thinking about the girl that had just walked past are table, he was imagining were how would palace his lips on the arch of her throat. I kicked his chair _sorry_ he thought I could feel the ashamed tone in his thoughts.

Alice's thoughts were always worrying, always in the future never in the present, always thinking about what she would do next not what she was doing. She has been especially worrying about Jasper recently since we had started school after the Christmas holidays. Alice was the smallest and the most annoying she loved getting her way and most of the time she did.

_Bella Cullen_. I turned to look around and the two boys looked away, I just remembered they were thinking my name not actually saying it. _It wasn't unlikely that he wouldn't be fantasizing over her_ I saw the new boys face he had green cat like eyes and an oval shaped narrow face. Of course I had seen Edward Swan's face in others peoples thoughts but it was weird looking at him from my own eyes, he was the son of town chief police officer, Renée Swan.

I turned back around realising it wasn't the new guy's thoughts just Mike Newton's thoughts. It had been a while since he had bothered me with his internal chatter since he had gotten over his ridicules fantasy's it would have been interesting to tell him what happen if his soft lips touched mine. "_He has no chance, he is not even that good looking_" he sighed _I don't understand why Angela and… Jess are staring at him with gooey eyes_ he said the last name mentally wincing. He carried on babbling I turned away before He drove me mentally crazy.

"Mike Newton is giving the dirty gossip of the Cullen's to the new guy" I murmured to Emmett speaking to fast for any human to understand.

_I hope he is making it good then_ he chuckled under his breath

"No it is quite disappointing not actually one spot of horror"  
_how is the new guy taking it upset that there is no juice in it_ he chuckled again.

I tried to listen again to what the new guy thought. It was my job to protect the family, there really was no better word for it, to make sure no body caught on to what we really were, sometimes some did guess what the chalky skinned freaks at there school were it was not always the right hypothesis, but it wasn't worth the hassle, we simply disappeared, to become no more than a frightened memory.

I still couldn't hear the new guy's thoughts so I turned to look to see if he was still there He was Mike was still going on I couldn't hear a thing that he thought so I used my over sensitive hearing to find what I was missing, this was something I rarely ever did

"Which one is the one with the long dark brown hair?" He asked mike

_Like he stands a chance with her_ Mike thought before answering the question.

"Oh that's Bella she's the only one that's not taken I wouldn't get your hopes up she doesn't date no one, apparently no one is good enough for her, to high standards if you ask me she will never get a guy."

I turned my head to hide my smile Mike and his class mate had no idea how good it was that none of them appealed to me like they would like.

Beneath the humour I felt strange a feeling that I didn't understand. It had something to do with the vicious edge to do with Mike's thoughts that the new boy was unaware of … if felt the strange urge to step between them to shield this Edward swan from the darker workings of Mike's mind. What an odd thing to feel.

There was nothing but silence from the unexceptional human Guy.

I didn't realise I was still staring at him when he looked up at me he went red in the face. It was good thing jasper was staring idly out of the window who knows what that pool of blood would do to him.

He was starring at me with a lot of fascination, it happened a lot to those fragile humans we were beautiful to them, our intended prey. He was still listening to Mike's tale as he carried on starring. He dropped his gaze embarrassment that I had caught him staring at me. Though his thought were clear to read in his odd green eyes – odd because they were cat like shaped – I could hear nothing but silence from the place were she was sitting. Nothing at all.

This was something I had never encountered before I had always been able to read everyone's thoughts. Was there something with me? I felt the same as I have for the past 92 years. Worried I listened harder

All the voices I had been trying to block out came flooding back in.

…_. Wonder what music he likes? … I could mention that new CD…_ Jessica Stanley thought. Her eyes fixated on the new boy

_Look at her staring at him. As if she does not have half the boys in school waiting over her …_ Angela Webb thought revolving around the new guy

… _So disgusting… you would think she was famous or something… he has even got Bella Cullen staring at him_." Tyler Crowley said jealously. _…and look at Mike flaunting his new BFF, what a joke._ Vital continued to spew from the boys thoughts.

_Maybe she will be in my Spanish._ June Richardson hoped

… _I bet everyone has asked her that. I should think of something more original. But I sure would like to talk to her …_ Ashley Dowling mused.

… _Tons to do tonight, maths and trig homework, and I got to revise for that English test._ Ben always thought nice thoughts, a quiet boy; he must be the only one in this school not obsessed with the new boy.

_Time to go?_ My family all thought at the same time I nodded at all them and we all got up dumped are trays of untouched food and glided through the doors.

"So is the new one afraid of us yet?" Emmett asking again to his unanswered question. I just shrugged, he wasn't interested to pass the information further nor should I be interested.

Emmett, Rosalie and Jasper were pretending to be seniors they left for there lessons I was playing a younger role that I was a junior. I had junior level biology class, preparing my mind for the tedium. It was doubtful that he would say anything intellectual in today's lesson especially something with some one two graduate degrees in medicine.

I went into the classroom and settled into my chair let my "books" more like props spill on to my table. Look I was left out again I am sitting on my own in biology again. Who wants to sit next to a Cullen anyway they are freaks to every human in this class.

_The new guy seems just as shy as me; I bet he is finding it hard. I wish I could say something but it would probably just sound stupid. _ Ben thought.

_Yes._ Jess thought as the new guy came.

The door opened and in walked the new guy; he would have to sit down next to me as it was the only one free. I did feel sorry for him this was going to be a long semester as I doubt she will feel very comfortable sitting there. At least there might be more of a chance to try to read her thoughts again. Somehow he managed to slip over the side of the desk just catching himself on his soon to be new desk. Just as he landed the door opened in blew a gust of wind blowing the new guys hair.

His scent hit me like a wrecking ball, like a battering ram. There was no image violent enough to encapsulate the force of what happened at that moment.

In that instant I was nothing close to the human I once was, no trace of the shreds of humanity I'd managed to cloak myself in managed to remain

I was the predator. He was the prey. There was nothing else in the world but that truth.


	2. the new guy

The new guy

Her thoughts were no more a wonder to me they were no more, it felt like there was nothing nut me and her not a room full of witnesses that that would see the girl die see the last word she ever said or screamed.

I was a vampire; his scent was the strongest scent I had ever smelt in eighty years. I hadn't imagined such a scent could exist, if I had, I would have gone looking for it long ago

I could imagine what the blood would taste like on my tongue.

Thirst burned through my throat like fire, my mouth was baked and desiccated. There was a fresh whirl of venom build up in my mouth, my stomach twisted with the hunger that was an echo of the thirst.

Not a full second had passed. He was still taking the same step that had put him downwind from me.

As his foot touched the ground his eyes slid towards me, a movement he clearly meant to be stealthy. As our eyes met, I saw my monstrous face reflect in his eyes.

The shock of the face that I saw there saved her life for a few thorny moments. As he saw the way I looked at him blood flowed to his face again, it didn't help, it looked so sweet, and it was the most delicious colour I had ever seen. The scent was like a thick haze in my brain, I could barely think. My thoughts raged, resisting control, incoherent.

He walked more quickly now as if he understood my need to escape. With his fast walking it made him clumsy falling on to the girl in front. The girl got embarrassed and so did he the pool of blood came rushing back up to his face. His clumsiness made seem vulnerable, even more than usual for a human.

I tried to remember the face I had seen in his eyes, the monster in me, the one I had tried to stop for years resurfaced again ready to kill. The scent swirled around me making my thoughts unthinkable and nearly making me jump from my seat.

NO.

I gripped the edge of the table to hold me in the chair. Splinters came off the wooden bar of the table. The shapes of my fingers were now carved into the wood. The table was not up to the job of restraining me.

Destroy the evidence. Was a fundamental rule. I demolished the edges of were my fingers had been, leaving nothing but a ragged whole and a pile of wooden splinters…

I knew what would happen now the boy would have to come and sit beside me. I would have to kill him.

The innocent bystanders would never leave this room again, the eighteen other students and the one man. They would all suffer the consciences for this boy, especially after seeing what they were about to see.

I flinched. But it had to be done. I had never done anything so bad in all time I had never killed another human but this time I had to. I would finally taste the real taste of human blood, what all my brothers and sisters had told me about.

As I shudder at the thought of what I had to do. The monster in me still planed what I was about to do.

If I killed the boy first I would only have ten or twenty seconds with her before the other reacted, if they say what I was doing. He would not have time to scream or feel the pain; I would not kill him cruelly. If that was something I could promise then it was better than nothing.

I would have to stop the others from escaping, it would mean a lot of hard work but it would be worth it to taste the blood of the poor human boy. I would only have to block the door the windows were to high and small for anyone to escape through them.

It would be slower to take tem all down when they where panicked and scrambling, moving in chaos. Not impossible but there would be more noise. A lot more time for screaming. Someone would hear … I would be forced to kill even more innocent people.

This was going to be a very black hour.

And his blood would go cold, while I murdered the others.

The scent punished me, closing my throat with a dry aching …

So the witness first then.

I mapped it in my head. I was in the middle row furthest in the back. I would take my right side thirst, snapping all there throats. They would be the lucky side, they wouldn't see it coming. I estimated that I could kill 4-5 people in a second. Move to the front and take the left side. I could do it all in about 5 seconds. Then all that would be left would be the boy. I could imagine myself going in for the lunge.

The time would be long enough for Edward Swan to see what was coming. Could it possibly be long enough if not frozen in fear to scream? One short scream would no be long enough to send any one running would it?

I took another breath the scent swirled down me like a scorching fire in my throat. She was just turning now ready to sit down were he would be just two inches away from me.

The monster in me smiled in anticipation.

Some one slammed there folder on the left. I didn't look up to see who the doomed human was, but the motion sent a wave of ordinary, unscented air wafting across my face.

For a minute I was able to think clearly. For that second I saw two faces.

One was mine. I had bright crimson eyes. It was the face of a murder one that had killed too many innocent victims. It was like a future image I bet of what I would look like after I committed the crime.

The other was a picture of Carlisle, my adopted farther. There was no resemblance between the two faces one was a representation of the brightest day the other of the blackest night.

Even though Carlisle is not biological father and we did not share the same genetics. But we had the similarity in our colours the vampire trait of the pale icy skins, also our eyes the colour was because of mutual decisions we had both made.

Yet there was no basis of resemblance over my 70 years of being with him I thought I had grown to reflect his to an extent. My features had not changed but his wisdom had marked my expression. A little of his compassion could be traced in my mouth or his patience shown in my brow. All these features were lost in the face of the monster. In a while there would be nothing that would reflect my creator, my mentor, and my farther. All that would be there would be beady red eyes, all likeness lost forever.

In my head, Carlisle kind eyes did not judge me, they looked at me with forgiveness for the horrible act I was about to do. Because he loved me. Because he thought that I was better than I was. He would still love me when I proved him wrong.

Edward Swan sat down next to me, his movements stiff and awkward- was it because of fear? The scent of her blood clouded my mind again. I would prove my farther wrong of me, this fact nearly hurt as much as the fire in my throat.

I leaned away from him, I detested him, how could this one boy ruin my family.

Why did she have to come here? Why did she have to exist? Why did she have to ruin the peace of my non life I had here? Why had this human have to be born? She just had to ruin me.

I turned away from her as the build of hatred washed through my body.

Who was this creature? Why me? Why now? Why did I have to become a monster because he decided to come to the tiny little town?

Why had he come here?

I don't want to be a monster! I don't want to murder all these innocent children because of this one girl! If I did this I would loose everything I had gained the sacrifice and denial.

I wouldn't. She couldn't make me.

There was only one problem. It was the hideous scent of her blood. It smelt so appealing. If there was one way to resist … like another gush of clean hair. The boy shook his hair. What was he doing? Was he insane, it was like he wanted the monster in me to attack. Like he was taunting it. There was no clean air coming my way, soon all would be lost.

There was no helpful breeze. But I didn't have to breath.

The relief came at once but it was not complete. I could still taste the scent on the back of my tongue. I still had the scent memorised in my head. I wouldn't be able to resist for long but perhaps an hour. That would be long enough to save all the lives in this tiny room, perhaps all the innocent victims would make it out of this room alive. I could resist for one short hour.

Even though I did not need oxygen it went against my instincts. I relied on scent more than any other instinct in a time of stress and this was a time of stress. It was the way we hunt the way we noticed any kind of danger. This was the kind of danger.

Uncomfortable, but manageable. It was better than smelling her sweet blood, imagining my teeth sinking into her fine, thin see through skin, to the hot wet pulsing …

I could resist.

An hour. Just one hour. All I had to do was not think about him and the scent.

The silent boy kept his face turn to the corner. Was it to stop me from reading his expression, to stop me from seeing the fear in his eyes, or the shyness?

My irritation about not being able to read his thoughts was nothing now to the hatred and annoyance I felt for him now. For I hated this frail man child, I hated her with all my might. I hated her for making me feel like this. Yes, the irritation I had felt before was weak, but it helped a little, it stopped me thinking about what she would taste …

Hate and irritation filled me. Would this hour never pass?

And when the hour ended what would I do. Follow her

"_My name is Bella Cullen, may I walk you to your next class." _

What would she say?

"_Yes."_ Of course he would it was the polite thing to do. Even already fearing me he would say yes and walk beside me. It would be easy to lead he the wrong way. She would end up in the forest; I could tell her I had forgotten a book in my car.

Would anyone notice that I was the last person he had been with? It was raining as usual to dark rain coats heading in the wrong direction, no on would notice, or would we stand out?

Except that I was not the only student who noticed the new boy, Jess Stanley had, in particular, every time he shifted his weight or fidgeted, she noticed, she would be aware if he left the class room with me.

If I could last an hour then I could last two. I flinched at the pain of the burning.

He would go home to an empty house, Chief Swan worked all day. I knew her house the same way I knew every person house in this tiny town. Her house was nestled up against the thick woods. She had no close neighbours. So even if she had time to scream which he wouldn't no one would be able to hear.

That would be the responsible way to deal with this. I had gone my whole life without the taste of human blood, I could last a couple more hours, then I would have her all to myself, I would not have to kill innocent victims, and no need to rush through the experience, the monster in me agreed. It was nonsense to think if I save all nineteen lives in this room I would be less if a monster when I killed this innocent boy.

Though I hated her it was unjust. I really hated my self, for being who I was, for having to end someone's life. I knew when I had ended he life I would hate us both even more.

Once toward the very end he peeked up at me, I felt the hatred burning out of me. I me his gaze and blood flooded to his cheeks again. My plan nearly failed again.

The bell rang, saved by the bell, how cliché. She was saved from death, I was saved from becoming the monster I feared and loathed for a while longer.

I couldn't walk as slowly as I should, so I darted from the room. If someone had been looking they would have thought there was something wrong with the way I walked, but no one was paying attention. All humans' thoughts swirled around the new boy who was likely to die in about an hour.

I went to hide in my car. I didn't like the idea of having to hide in my car, but it was unquestionably the case. I didn't have enough discipline left to be around humans right now. Focusing on trying not to kill one was bad but I might not be able to resist the others. If I was going to give into the monster then I was going to make my defeat worth while.

I played the CD that usually calmed me down; it did for a little bit. What most helped was the clean air that blew through the open window it was like washing my body out from an infection.

I was sane again, I could think again. I would be able to resist, I would resist.

I didn't have to go home; I didn't have to kill him. I was a rational thinking creature, I didn't have to kill him, and there was always a choice. I hadn't felt like that in the classroom, but now I was away from him I could think. Perhaps if I avoided him I wouldn't have to change and wouldn't have to become the monster inside. Things were the way I liked them, I had a family and was settled in school.

I didn't have to disappoint my farther. I didn't need to upset my mother, my adoptive mother. It was rude to hurt her, I hated it, and it would make me hurt myself even more.

How ironic I wanted to stand in front of him and protect him from Mike Newton thoughts. I was the last person that would ever stand as a protector in front of Edward swan. He would only ever need protection from me.

Were Alice, sure she had seen me killing the Swan boy. Why hadn't she come to help me? Or clean up the evidence that I would have caused. Was she so obsessed with Jaspers problems that she had missed me maliciously killing the boy. Was I stronger then I thought was I seriously not going to kill him.

No she must have been caught up with Jasper. I tried to locate he familiar voice, it was in the English and all her thoughts were dedicated to Jasper she was watching his every single move.

I wish I was able to ask for he advice, but the in some ways I was glad I couldn't then she would know what I was capable of.

I felt a new burn through my body- the burn of shame. I didn't want any of them to know.

If I could avoid Edward Swan, then I wouldn't have to kill her … at that thought the monster in me withered a gnashed his teeth in frustration- then no one would know I would just have to stay away from her scent.

There was no reason why I shouldn't try at least, and then I could be what Carlisle thought I was.

The last hour of school was nearly over. I decided to put my new plan into action at once. Better than sitting here in the parking lot and have him walk past me and have him ruin my attempt. I hated him unjustly. I hated the unnatural power he has over me.

I walked swiftly – a little to swiftly, into the reception, there was no reason for Edward swan to cross paths with me.

The office was empty apart from the sectary the one I wanted to see. She didn't notice my silence entrance

"Mrs Cope."

The woman had unnaturally red hair, looked up and her eyes opened wide.

"Oh" she gasped, a little flustered. She smoothed her shirt _silly _she thought to her self. _She's almost young enough to be my daughter. How can she be so pretty?_

"Hello, Bella. What can I do for you." she blinked between her thick rimmed glasses. _Wow_

Uncomfortable. But I knew how to be charming when I wanted to be.

"I was wondering if you could help me change my schedule" I fluttered my eye lashes

"Of course Bella how can I help?

"I was wondering if you could swap my biology class to physics perhaps."

"Is there a problem with Mr Banner, Bella?"

"No it is just that I have already studied the material"

"In that accelerated school you all went to in Alaska" her lips thi8ns why she considered this _they should all be in college. I've heard the teachers complain. Perfect four point ohs, never a hesitation with a response, never a wrong answer on a test- like they have found a way to cheat in every subject. I say MR Varner will say anyone is cheating if they prove to be smarter than they are. I bet there mother tutors them. _"Actually physics is full right now; MR Banner hates more than 25 people in a class at a time."

"I wouldn't be any trouble"

_Of course not, not a perfect Cullen._ "I know that but there are not enough seats..."

"Could I drop it then?"

_Why would some one want to drop a lesson they have already done. There must be something wrong I better talk to MR Banner._

"You won't have enough credits to graduate with"

"It is alright I will catch up next year"

"Maybe you should talk to your parents about it"

The door opened behind me, whoever it was, was not thinking of me so I didn't bother to look up. This would work better if my eyes were gold not black.

"Please Mrs Cope" I flutter my eye lashes, "surely there must b e something else than 6 hour biology" I pleaded. I smiled at her carefully trying not to show too much teeth, I let the expression soften my face. _I must talk to Bob about this. _

"Well maybe I could talk to Bob … I mean MR Banner … about this." She trailed of.

A second was all it took for everything to change, a second was all it took for Samantha Wells to open the door to place a signed slip in the tray. A second was all it took for a gust of wind to blow in and for me to realise I had not noticed the first person who walked through the door.

There leaning against the door frame was Edward Swan, I turned to glare, her eyes widened at my inhuman glare. The scent spread through out the tiny stuffy room. It wasn't even a second till my throat began to burn again.

It would not take long to kill Mrs Cope, two lives were better than twenty. It was a fare deal, for the pain this boy had bought on me. Internally the monster in me impatiently growled.

There was always a choice – there had to be.

I stopped my oxygen intake and put Carlisle's picture in the front of my mind and turned back to Mrs Cope. I heard her internal surprise at the change in my expression. She shrank back into her chair out of fear. Using the self denial I had mastered over the years, I made my voice even and smooth. There was enough air in my lungs for just one tiny sentence.

"Never mind then I can see it is impossible, thank you so much for your help" I turned quickly trying to ignore the girl and got out of the room.

I didn't stop till I got to my car moving to fast for human pace, but it was ok as there was not a lot of witnesses. I heard a sophomore notice and disregard.

_Where did that Cullen come from – it was like she had just come out of thin air … there I go again imagining things. Mum always says … _

When I slid into my Volvo, the others were already there. I tried to control my breathing I was gapping for air like I had been suffocated, which is really what it felt like.

"Bella" Alice asked, alarm in her voice.

I just shook my head at her.

"What the hell happened to you" Emmett demanded distracted for the moment, from the fact that jasper was not in the mood for a rematch.

Instead of answering I threw the car into reverse. I had to get out of this car parking lot before he followed me here. My own personal demon following me. I hit forty before I was on the road and seventy before I was around the corner.

Without looking I saw the others to turn and look at Alice questioningly. She shrugged. She couldn't see what happened in the past only in the future.

She looked ahead for me now. We were both surprised by what we saw in the future.

"You're leaving?" she wisped.

The others starred at me now

"Am I?" I hissed.

She saw it then when she looked at the future again.

"OH."

Edward Swan, dead. My eyes gleaming crimson with fresh blood. The search that would follow. The time it took before we moved and started again.

"OH!" she said again. This time the picture grew more specific. I saw the inside of chief swans house for the first time. Saw Edward in the small kitchen with yellowish cupboards with his back to me as I stalked him in the shadows … let the scent pull toward her …

"Stop" I groaned, not able to bear it any more.

"Sorry" she whispered her eyes wide.

The monster rejoiced.

And the vision in her head shifted again to an empty highway at night, me in a car driving 200mph it was covered in snow, I now knew where I was going.

"Ill miss you" she said "no matter how short a time you are gone"

Emmett and Rosalie exchanged wary glances.

"Drop us here." Alice instructed "you should go tell Carlisle.

I nodded and the car suddenly stopped. The others got out; they would make Alice explain when I was gone. Alice touched my shoulder.

"You will do the right thing" she murmured not a vision this time an order. "He's Renée Swans only family. It would kill her to."

"Yes." I agreed only with the last part.

She slid out to join the others, her eyebrows pulling together in anxiety. They had disappeared in to the wood before I could turn the car around.

I accelerated towards the town just as I got into Forks again I heard Jasper think _she is going to kill him_. I just carried on going not sure whether I was heading to my farther or unleash the monster inside me.


	3. My trip

_**I am so sorry this one is late I have been ill and not been able to post it **_

_**Twilightgeeek xx**_

My trip away

I finally decided consciously that I was going to see my farther; I would spare the young boy a few more hours if possible. No. I was going to do this, even if it meant I would have to go away. Ha that makes me laugh a powerful vampire running and hiding from a tiny little insignificant human.

I pulled into the car park at the hospital ten minutes later I was on the road again flooring it to my closest things to relatives the Denali's are extended family, another inside joke, they were vegetarians like us. The meeting with my farther was not much I just said I had to get away from here and that Alice would tell him everything when he got home, all he said in reply was that I hope I sought everything out that I needed and that I came home soon, then he handed me over the keys to his Mercedes. We all once lived together, but it got a bit odd all these young people living together never aging so we went our separate ways, we still kept in close contact they are some one we could call on in an emergency. After what happened today in that dreadful biology lesson seemed the perfect time to call on that little favour.

I needed to stop thinking about that _I shuddered at the thought_ boy otherwise I might turn back and, no stop that thought. I pushed Carlisle's Mercedes a little faster making it go up to 100 mph I would be in Alaska in less than twenty minutes. That was one good thing about being a vampire, I suppose, having sharp reflexes, never had I had a speeding fine or been pulled over not that they would be able to catch me anyway.

I knocked on the door. Always polite, unlike Emmett I don't go barging in on people, they knew I was coming Alice must have called. I did not want to spend time around them I was angry at myself and would probably end up taking it out of them and as it just made me feel guilty for running out on my family like that. I had Alice to thank when I got home for not telling them why I ran away. I would never live it down.

I was sitting on a rock in garden looking as all the animals as they ran away from me when they tried to get close, like most humans animals had that instinct to stay away from us. I heard Tom behind me thinking, I was far enough away from the house to not hear there thoughts. Tom I suppose you could say 'showed a little interest in me'. When we all lived together he was the one that I spent my time with, everyone thought we were going out, but I had never thought of him in that way he was like a cousin, some one you loved but were not in love with.

_Incoming._ Here we go again I thought, since I got there everyone was fine with not knowing why I was there or how long I was staying, except for Tom he kept pestering me … here we go again.

_So are you ready to tell me why you are here?_

"No" I replied stubbornly if only this mind reading thing worked both ways when I wanted it to then I wouldn't have to put in the effort to speak.

_Come on tell me. _He thought again his thoughts were wondering again but I wasn't going to tell him, I was too humiliated, he would only laugh.

"No" I said again louder more annoyed.

_Okay there is no need to get stressed, _he laughed, _it's not like you ever aren't though_

He was punishing my limit, I was already annoyed by the mindless human pushing me away from the ones I loved.

I missed my family, I missed hunting together and I missed having wrestling matches till dawn.

_How long you staying you have already been here three days, _had it been that long I had to go back I would no longer be pushed away, frightened by an insignificant meaningless human. I was going to go home where I belonged.

"I am going to go now" I said determined, "I am sorry for the inconvenience I have caused you and you family

_You don't have to go_

"No I must" I must not be humiliated any more. "Tell them I said goodbye"

_I will, bye then, I do miss you. _I got up and hugged Tom his thoughts wild unable to read as we hugged but they gave a feeling of lust and desire.

As soon as we said good bye I ran to my Dad's car and got in I would be back by eleven at the latest it was only eight in the evening, in time to go to school tomorrow. I would make sure I hunted every night before having to sit next to Edward Swan again. I might be a monster but I didn't have to be an evil one. I would be grateful to be back with my family again I had missed them so much.

Though if it did get overwhelming being around Edward I was pretty sure I would be able to get up and leave, I could say I needed a toilet break. But it would be ok I would make it ok. I shouldn't be frightened. Me frightened I am an indestructible killing machine I should be frightened, but I couldn't get over the little nagging thought in me that was frightened for the little boy and longed to see those eyes again.

I was back by half past ten earlier than I expected. It felt good to ride home it was peaceful. As the last time I was on these roads. I was the bad person I was full of hatred full of desire for one person, it is hard to think I could feel so much hatred for a single person up here, driving. Driving to me felt like freedom, my escape out of being who I was.

I was home Alice must have seen me coming, as my family stood on the porch to greet me there thoughts full of welcome. They had all missed me and were happy that I was back, after a few minutes of interfering questions of where I had been and so on which they all knew any way, the question I least wanted to answer came,

"So when you going to kill him" my brother Emmett asked jokingly

"I'm not, I am determined not to let the monster in me be victorious" they all laughed at this there thoughts questioning me, Rosalie's thought harshest

_so you are going to inflict all this pain on yourself, you know you wont be able to resist and one day you will snap and our family will be at the other end having to move on and clear everything up, again all because you wanted to be brave, don't be so stupid_.

"Shut up Rosalie." With that I stormed of, well it wasn't what I would call storming it was more graceful but I think my family got the impression

"What did you do," Esme's voice sounded harsh, Rosalie mumbled something but I did not take much notice, Esme carried on in the same voice like before, "How could you she just got back, now go and say sorry to your sister."

_Sorry Bella. _Her thoughts were sincere but they still gave that felling like she didn't really mean it.

That night I went hunting with Carlisle so I would be ready for school tomorrow, Carlisle didn't ask any questions, he just made small talk about how the trip was and so on. I didn't want to be the slightest bit affected by her, but I knew deep down it wouldn't work I was joking with myself if I thought this was going to work. No I have to be optimistic. We only stayed local not wanting to go far. At the end I was sure I would be prepared for tomorrow and put on some music to relax to. I stayed on my room all night thinking about tomorrow it was hard I was full of all these emotions that I hadn't felt for a long time.

The next day came and we all got into the Volvo on our way to school.


End file.
